Busy, quick-moving, full days. Detailed days. Between the job applications, vow ceremony preparations, Peru packing, and formation stage transitions I have so many different to-do lists going that I might need a to-do list to keep all my to-do lists straight. Amidst the hecticness (I think that's a word--actually I wanted to use hecticity but I know that's not a word) I've been pausing to stay centered, to take some deep breaths and remind myself of the "aim of my vocation" as one of our Maxims states. To realize that all these little details are so much less important than the big picture. Maybe eventually I'll get so practiced at remembering that--at pulling back to the center of LOVE--that those will be the thoughts that swirl through my mind, that keep it a constant buzz. Thoughts of God's surrounding, holding, intensely personal and yet communally unifying love. Let those keep me up at night.
I said today that I felt like perpetual motion personified. I have a photo that I took last year of a butterfly. You can barely make out the outline of the upper wing as I caught it mid-flap. It gives me a sense of motion paused. To see and not see. It reminds me of those little prayer pauses I take before I am off again.
All the flapping at least brings me into contact with people, backgrounds, really amazing cinnamon rolls. And the pauses help me to enjoy them.