I would think that after over three months of the novitiate I would be a bit better at balancing my energy. Some days and even weeks I seem to have more of a hang of it than others. I went from a very peaceful day of just "being" on my Sabbath Day Friday, to five hours of leaf raking yesterday, to hopping from one thing to the next today even though I feel totally exhausted. My mind doesn't really shut down enough to get a real nap during the day and I hate to go to bed too early or I am up at 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning. Part of it is just who I am. For those who are familiar with the Enneagram, I am a three--the Performer. Threes are goal-oriented, activity focused people who typically measure worth through accomplishments. Enneagram experts (and most people I know) say that every personality type is part of the whole, a gift without which creation would not quite be complete. So, I know that being a three is okay--a gift even. However, this novitiate process is quite challenging for the three in me. I think it is a good challenging, but my struggle today is to recognize the gift in who I am and be willing to challenge myself while also maintaining and valuing my makeup. Whew! Maybe I'll just get a bowl of ice cream and watch a movie instead!