Three years ago or so as I began the process to be a Sister of St. Joseph I was so glad that the peace and joy I had found in that decision was lasting. The daily ups and downs of discernment can wear a person out. Throughout this process people have been very clear that it is still discernment time for me and for the community. However, who wants to deal with all those ups and downs when lasting peace and joy seems a much simpler option? So, I have been more than content to just know that being a Sister of St. Joseph is where I am called. What do I do, though, when I come to a point of discontent? In three years I may have said that, yes, I'm discerning. Yes, I know that God may or may not be calling me to religious life. But, I have never seriously let myself entertain the thought that this life isn't it. If I do not give myself another option, though, is it a choice to stay? In many ways I feel like I am taking two steps back from where I was. But, I know that I need to step back a bit to be able to move forward at all. So, I'm again living with the ups and downs, but with my wonderfully, supportive community and a nap here and there, I feel good about the direction my heart is taking and know that God is present always.